The Impact of Online Infidelity On Relationships
Technology can be beneficial in so many ways. It connects us with the rest of the world and allows us to meet new people and stay in touch with those we might not see on a daily basis.
While technology is great for connection, it also opens up a new world of communication that can potentially lead to online infidelity.
It might start out harmless with a “liked” post or a comment. But, things can quickly escalate into DMs or secret conversations. Unfortunately, many people think that online cheating isn’t really cheating since there’s no physicality involved.
This is often referred to as emotional infidelity. It is still very much a betrayal if you’re in a committed relationship.
So, exactly how can online infidelity impact your relationship?
It Breaks Trust
Even if you’re not physically interacting with another person, establishing an emotional connection with them can break down trust in a relationship. Talking to someone online about things that are inappropriate, or treating them as though they’re your partner, is beyond hurtful.
Talking to someone online is also often done in secret. If you have a connection with someone and you’re trying to keep it from your partner by hiding your phone, not letting them read your text messages, or going so far as to use hidden apps to keep your partner in the dark, think about the impact that could have if/when your partner finds out. If you feel like you have to hide or be sneaky about something, that’s a good indicator that it isn’t healthy for your relationship.
It Weakens Your Relationship
Online infidelity can be exciting. There’s a sort of “rush” you might feel every time you hear the tone of a text or see a new email pop up in your inbox. Even communicating in secret can feel exciting and almost dangerous. It can give you an adrenaline rush, causing you to want more.
Unfortunately, the more involved and invested you are in your online relationship, the less attention you’re likely to give to your real one.
Giving your time and effort to your online relationship can cause you to become distracted and distanced from your partner. Even if they don’t know about your online infidelity, it will become clear that your real relationship isn’t a priority, and that can take a toll.
It Can Impact Your Partner’s Well-Being
Not only can online infidelity damage your relationship, but it can also cause your partner to second guess themselves. If they find out you’re emotionally cheating, they might start to wonder what they’ve done wrong. They might think they aren’t good enough for you. Or, they might wonder why you would trust someone else with your thoughts and ideas, rather than them. It can be a major blow to their self-esteem. That can affect them in your relationship, or in future relationships if things don’t work out.
What You Can Do
If you know you’re in the middle of an online relationship that has gone too far, the best thing you can do is put a stop to it immediately. Tell your partner, if they haven’t already found out. It’s not easy to be transparent when you’ve done something wrong. But, it’s necessary if you want to start rebuilding trust and moving forward.
If both of you still want the relationship to work, you have to be patient. Your partner will undoubtedly be hurt. It's important to give them the time and space they need to process things while still letting them know you’re “all in” when it comes to your relationship.
Don’t feel like you have to navigate the journey alone. If online infidelity has taken a toll on your relationship, consider talking to a therapist — either together or separately (or both). Marriage Therapy is a great way to dig deeper into why you might have been drawn into emotional infidelity, and how your relationship can heal from here.