Has Infidelity Created A Lack Of Trust In Your Marriage Or Relationship?
Has your relationship suffered from deception or an affair? Are you conflicted about whether or not to stay with your partner due to pressures from both outside and within? Is there a pervasive feeling that you will never be able to trust your partner or spouse again?
While an affair is a painful and disruptive occurrence in any relationship, it is often the lying and deception that creates more doubt than the act of infidelity itself. A lack of trust not only impacts the relationship with your partner but also the relationship with yourself. You may begin to second guess your decisions and struggle with forgiving your spouse for cheating.
An affair can be detrimental to the family unit as a whole and you may feel conflicted about whether to stay for the children so that they are not forced to grow up in what society labels as a “broken home.” Infidelity presents a whole host of problems and emotional symptoms for each partner, including feelings of shame, guilt, anger and a growing inability to function or focus on basic tasks or responsibilities.
If your marriage or partnership has endured a breach of trust, you may be anxious for answers or to find assurance that an affair will not continue or happen again. The first step in affair recovery lies in developing effective communication, which can be facilitated through infidelity counseling.
Long-Term Relationships Often Experience Some Form Of Infidelity
Infidelity is a common phenomenon across cultures. While the numbers and criteria for cheating on a spouse can vary, it is safe to say that at least a quarter of heterosexual women and a third of heterosexual men will engage in extramarital behavior in their lifetimes. As the scope widens beyond physical infidelity—and into emotional affairs, becoming romantically involved with strangers on the internet and even pornography—that number drastically increases.
It is unreasonable to think that our spouse or partner can meet every need. As a result we may begin to explore other means of affection and excitement. Emotional affairs happen when we become vulnerable and invested in another person beyond the boundaries of a friendship. Physical affairs happen during a one-night stand and/or long-term sexual affair. It is easy in the tech-driven “hookup” culture in which we live to explore sexual opportunities on websites and apps or develop. Or perhaps an affair can blossom out of an inappropriate and secretive relationship with someone to whom we have consistent access, like a coworker or a fellow regular at a bar or restaurant we frequent.
In the beginning keeping the cheating from your husband or wife can be exciting and frightening. Then, as time progresses and you have not been caught by your spouse, it becomes less and less frightening to engage in cheating or extramarital behaviors and eventually a routine can develop. In hiding away parts of ourselves from our partner, we are being dishonest and causing harm, even if the intent began innocently or out of curiosity.
If you have been impacted by physical, emotional, or virtual infidelity then it is understandable that you have developed trust issues and tension that extends out into your environment. However, regardless of if you decide to ultimately leave your spouse or stay in the relationship, it is likely you will be impacted by trust issues in the future. The hurt is not going to go away as you detach yourself from the relationship, and cycles of miscommunication and mutual hurt are likely to cause pain in both of your lives.
While we at The Christian Wellness Center would never condone cheating, we also want to provide you and your spouse with the toolbox for surviving it and understanding why it occurred. If you and your partner are invested in finding recovery from an affair then marriage and couples counseling can offer your relationship a new perspective and hope.
Recovery And Healing After An Affair Is Possible With Therapy
Therapy is a great place to start the process of infidelity recovery. In a safe, secure, and confidential space, you and your partner will be invited to explore the infidelity that took place with the mediating presence of a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.
Remaining objective and nonjudgmental, your therapist or counselor will help both of you to see the other side. For example, in the instance of a husband cheating on his wife, the husband will not be vilified in session but will be encouraged to accept accountability, while the wife may gain clarity around the circumstances that led to the affair. Neither person will be blamed or condemned and instead seen as an imperfect being--as we all are--who is capable of reflection, growth and change.
Using psychoeducation about the anatomy of an affair, our therapists can help you understand the infidelity timeline and how the brain is responding to each step of the process. From there, we will facilitate open, supportive discussions that can help you to understand how the marriage arrived at this crossroads and what each partner can do to repair the damage, both together and as individuals. In addition, we will help you to determine which problems or behaviors need to be addressed and which ones need to be surrendered. Over time, we are confident that you will have a deeper understanding of one another and the connection of your relationship will be strengthened.
We aim to provide highly personalized counseling services, so if you require spiritually- or religiously-driven feedback, our therapists are prepared to provide that. If what you need is concrete, evidence-based information instead, we can offer that perspective too. Our goal at The Christian Wellness Center is to help you learn to genuinely listen to understand (rather than listening to respond), have hard conversations without causing damage, and learn the value of true intimacy built on love and mutual respect.
We are confident that in seeking recovery for the affair your marriage has endured that you will be stronger than you were before. If you are looking at this page and considering therapeutic support for your marriage, then the healing has already begun.
Perhaps you are considering counseling services in hopes of recovering from infidelity, but you still have concerns…
I am interested in going to marriage/couples counseling in hopes of surviving an affair, but my partner is hesitant.
Ideally, you and your partner would both be motivated to seek counseling to recover from the affair. However, if that is not the case, we are happy to work with you on an individual basis. Even if your partner is absent from the session, we can still process the affair with you and help you to understand the circumstances that led to infidelity. Therapy is meant to be a healing process for all involved and can still have a positive impact in the context of individual sessions.
I am concerned about the cost of marriage/couples counseling.
At The Christian Wellness center, we aim to provide accessible, affordable services. We also think that therapy is an excellent investment in your marriage if you are looking to recover from an affair. Though your initial session will be a set price for marriage/couples counseling, we will work with you on successive payments if there are financial concerns. We can offer a sliding scale or payment packages/plans that work for you.
How long will the process of affair recovery take?
It really depends. Since we offer highly personalized services, the length of time in session will be contingent on a lot of factors—ranging from the length of the relationship, how long the cheating lasted, and the willingness of both husband and wife to invest the time and energy it will take for healing after an affair. Therapy is highly effective for developing more productive communication habits and a refreshed perspective on life. We are confident that counseling will benefit you in ways that extend beyond affair recovery.
You Can Learn To Trust Your Partner Again
If your marriage or partnership has been fractured by infidelity or a breach of trust, healing is possible with counseling/therapy services from The Christian Wellness Center. For a free, 20-minute consultation to discuss what we can do for you and your relationship, contact us or call/text (810) 771-8948 today.
