Has Your Marriage Lost Its Spark?
Do you worry that you may be falling out of love with your spouse? Have ongoing conflicts, differences in parenting, or a general sense of misunderstanding led you to become withdrawn or disconnected from your partner? Are you wondering what happened to the romance and intimacy in your marriage?
Perhaps there has been a communication breakdown and you two are no longer seeing eye-to-eye. It may be that one of you feels underappreciated, dissatisfied, or misunderstood. Or perhaps your relationship has created a dynamic wherein one spouse feels taken for granted and is constantly providing for the needs of the family at the expense of their own.
You and your partner may have grown so far apart that you’re no longer talking, engaging in the same activities together, or having sex. As this happens, it can begin to feel like your significant other is your roommate and going about their life separately from you.
Marriage problems can be painful and lead to intense feelings of isolation, anger, and resentment. As these issues fester, it can become increasingly difficult to see things from your partner’s perspective. While you may be convinced that these problems can be solved on their own or that you have the tools to manage disagreements after this long in your relationship, ongoing disconnection and withdrawal can make your marriage increasingly vulnerable to separation and divorce.
You don’t need to attempt to navigate and manage these issues on your own, however. Marriage counseling can strengthen your bond by offering you and your partner a newfound perspective and restored understanding of one another.
#RelationshipGoals Is A Myth
We are constantly inundated by snapshots of picture-perfect weddings, happy families, and romantic dinners out on the town. Between social media and unrealistic images portrayed in television and on film, we expect that falling and staying in love is effortless. Yet what goes on behind the scenes is the truth behind all relationships—which is that they can get messy sometimes.
Marital challenges are hidden away from view and rarely talked about. Furthermore, it’s not uncommon for one partner in a relationship to avoid certain topics or worries until they escalate into a full-blown conflict. Each and every marriage experiences hardship because there is no one partnership that is #relationshipgoals.
Unfortunately, we as a society tend to wait way too long to address these issues. Instead of confronting our marital challenges head-on, we often avoid and avoid until one partner develops resentments or begins keeping secrets. The renowned marriage therapist John Gottman has estimated that couples wait six years on average—yes, six years!—before seeking counseling. By the time issues have festered for that long, it makes the potential for and process of repair much more complicated.
Chances are that if you are looking at this page, you are already tired of the push-and-pull. Perhaps you’re wondering if your marriage can even be saved. Whether or not you are deciding to stay or go, a marriage therapist can provide a neutral and supportive space where you can discuss your future as a couple.
Marriage Counseling Helps You To Name The Problem So That You Can Overcome It
Therapy can first and foremost provide you with an opportunity to normalize your relationship issues as you begin to accept that conflict is part of every healthy marriage. From a safe and nonjudgmental space, couples counseling steers you towards cooperation even if understanding isn’t quite there yet. By encouraging you to focus more on the problem than the person, a marriage counselor can help you to build the vocabulary you need to define relationship challenges and communicate needs more effectively without falling into old patterns of disagreement.
In therapy, the space is yours to explore your marriage. Our counselors will tailor sessions to meet your relationship’s needs while drawing from couples-oriented methods that have proven effective in boosting intimacy and communication. Following your lead, our therapists will collaborate with you to understand the areas where you’d like to see change in your marriage and develop solutions that will suit both you and your spouse.
Over the course of therapy, you and your partner will be given the chance to identify where progress has been made in your marriage and where there is still room to grow while developing new techniques for overcoming challenges in the relationship. Once you can name the problem that has been ongoing in your marriage, you will be able to heal from it.
Our team of counselors at Christian Wellness Center draws from couples-specific therapeutic modalities, personal experiences, and spiritual practices to inform our counseling services. Whether your relationship could benefit from solution- or emotion-focused therapy or the aforementioned Gottman Method, we will work with you to determine which approach is best suited for you—and we’ll pray with you along the way.
Every couple faces conflict and hardship within their marriage. It is how you handle those challenges that will dictate the outcome of your relationship. With help and support, changes can be made to how you communicate so that your marriage can find the romance it has missed for so long.
Perhaps you are considering marriage therapy, but you have some questions…
Isn’t couples counseling just like talking to a friend about my relationship problems?
The answer is yes and no. We want you to feel welcomed by and comfortable with our therapists at Christian Wellness Center. However, talking with a licensed mental health professional is different than talking with a friend. Our team of counselors has years of training and experience working with couples. They are here as an unbiased party to hold you and your partner equally accountable for your behaviors within your marriage, teach you how to overcome obstacles, and develop solutions.
I’m afraid that couples counseling won’t work for our marriage.
You’re right—marriage therapy may not work. The outcome of counseling depends on the couple in question. It will depend on how much work you’re willing to do on the relationship outside of sessions. It will depend on whether each person is invested in genuinely improving the marriage. It will also depend on the dedication of both partners. However, whether or not therapy results in the reconciliation of the marriage, we are confident that you will learn something valuable about yourself and your relationship in the process.
I don’t have the time or money to invest in marriage counseling.
Remember that thing we mentioned about couples waiting six years on average before addressing persistent issues in the marriage? We don’t want that to be you. Imagine how much pain and resentment you can save yourself by investing the time in marriage counseling now. Consider what you may be risking in not making the commitment to therapy—give your relationship a chance to heal.
Don’t Wait Six Years To Address Problems In Your Marriage!
If you and your spouse have become increasingly disconnected or withdrawn in your marriage, therapy at Christian Wellness Center can help you gain perspective on what your relationship needs to heal and progress. For more information about our marriage counseling services or to set up an appointment, call (810) 771-8948 or contact us online today.
