Why You Should Listen Instead of Immediately Trying to Solve Conflict

It’s normal to want to fix problems quickly. No one likes to let conflict linger longer than it needs to. But, if you’re the kind of person who tries to solve things immediately, you could make matters worse. 

Sometimes, conflict resolution requires you to stop, listen, and take things slowly. 

Being an active listener can make conflict resolution easier and faster. You’re also more likely to learn new things along the way. You will be able to get to the root of the conflict sooner and more likely to develop compassion, understanding, and empathy. 

Active listening is an art. Let’s dig deeper into why you should prioritize it instead of immediately trying to solve conflict. 

You’ll Acknowledge Emotions

When you choose to listen to what someone else is saying, you’re acknowledging their emotions. You want the same from them, so give them that respect and grace. You don’t always have to see eye-to-eye with someone or agree with their opinions or ideas. But, when you’re able to tap into their emotions, you’ll develop a better understanding of where they’re coming from. 

Listening Builds Empathy

Once you recognize and acknowledge someone else’s emotions, you can feel more empathy toward them. You can put yourself in their shoes and try to understand why they think the way they do. 

Again, that doesn’t mean you’ll change your opinion or even agree with them. It does mean, however, that you can understand why they think the way they do, so it will be much easier to come up with a compromise. 

You’ll Be More Mindful

Listening isn’t just about acknowledging someone else’s emotions. It gives you a chance to hit “pause” on a conflict. You can step back and tap into your own emotions, as well. How are you really feeling? Are you thinking or saying certain things because you’re upset? Maybe listening to someone else is exactly what you need to better understand and process your feelings so you can eventually speak from a calmer state of mind. 

Gaining a Fresh Perspective

Even if you think you have the right idea to solve conflict, it never hurts to hear a different perspective. We all have different insights and ideas. That doesn’t mean one is better than another, and it doesn’t mean one is right and one is wrong. 

But, by listening to someone else’s opinions or ideas, you could open yourself up to something new that you may not have considered on your own. It could be exactly what’s needed to put a conflict to bed. 

How to Be a Better Listener

Active listening isn’t just about hearing what someone else has to say. If you truly want to be a good listener, create an open and inviting environment for someone to talk to you. Give them your full attention and don’t allow yourself to get distracted by anything else. 

When that person is speaking, don’t interrupt. However, you can ask questions, use nonverbal communication to show your interest, and repeat words or phrases if you need clarity. 

Try to avoid planning out your response while they’re talking. It can distract you and take away your attention, so you might only end up getting half of what they’re really trying to say. 

If you’re used to being the problem-solver, becoming an active listener can take practice. But, once you start to make it a habit, you’ll soon realize how effective it can be when it comes to conflict resolutions. Give yourself time and space to listen to someone, and you might be surprised by how easy it is to start managing conflicts more effectively. 

Reach out to learn more about marriage therapy and how we can help.