What to Do When Communication Stops In Your Relationship
Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. It’s essential for growth, understanding, intimacy, and just about everything in between. Without healthy communication, relationships suffer. You’re likely to argue more often, make assumptions about your partner, and feel disconnected.
So, what do you do when communication stops?
Maybe you and your partner used to communicate constantly. You told each other everything. You were both active listeners, and you showed understanding and empathy.
Unfortunately, when those habits stop becoming a priority to one or both people in a relationship, it can lead to many problems. Let’s take a closer look at what you can do to get back on track.
Why Do Couples Stop Communicating?
Maybe you’re reading this because you’re confused about what happened to your relationship. Again, perhaps you and your partner used to enjoy healthy communication, but they’ve stopped opening up.
There are a variety of potential reasons for this. They could be unhappy or anxious in other areas of their life, and they’re so comfortable around you that they “take out” some of their symptoms when you’re around. You might have a partner struggling with depression or anxiety who doesn’t know how to talk about it.
Or, maybe they have an issue with the relationship itself. That’s not an easy pill to swallow, but it’s something you should consider. That doesn’t mean you should make assumptions until you get to the root of the problem, but it’s good to explore every possibility rather than brushing things under the rug.
Don’t Take Things Personally
One of the worst things you can do when communication stops in your relationship is to turn it into a personal attack. In most cases, your partner isn’t purposely stonewalling you or ignoring you.
While a lack of communication can feel very personal — and hurtful — it’s more likely that your partner is dealing with something and they don’t know how to express it.
Remember, no matter what, you’re on the same team. When you choose not to take silence as a personal attack, you’ll be able to move forward together to improve communication efforts.
Take Small Steps
One of the best ways to boost communication in your relationship is by taking baby steps. Make an active effort to talk and connect with your partner, and don’t be afraid to share your concerns. Instead of accusing, attacking, or blaming, use “I” statements to let them know how you feel.
Opening the door to these issues won’t be easy. But, if you want to improve communication and get back to the connection you once had, it’s a necessary first step.
Be an Active Listener
Communication is always a two-way street. While expressing your feelings is important, you have to be willing to listen to what your partner has to say, too. Active listening is about more than just hearing and letting things go in one ear and out the other.
To be an active listener, you have to show your partner that you understand what they’re talking about. Ask questions, repeat things, and use both verbal and non-verbal cues to show them that what they’re saying matters to you.
Get to the Root of the Issue
Don’t feel like you have to handle communication issues on your own. If communication stops in your relationship but neither of you really understands why, it can help to work with a professional.
Working with a therapist — either as individuals or as a couple — can help you get to the root of your communication issues. Maybe one of you is going through something deeper that’s not easy to express without some guidance. Maybe there are relationship issues that haven’t been addressed.
Whatever the case, therapy can bring those to light. Once those issues are out in the open, a therapist can help you develop stronger communication strategies so you can reconnect with your partner and enjoy healthy communication habits for years to come.
Reach out to learn more about couples coaching or therapy.