What Are Infidelity Triggers and How Can You Move Past Them?

Learning your partner has cheated on you can be traumatic. It can completely dissolve the trust in your relationship and make you question yourself and them repeatedly. Unfortunately, no matter how you find out about your partner’s infidelity, the trauma that comes with it can replay in your mind like a horror film, making it feel next to impossible to move forward. 

Certain things can trigger those thoughts and memories, too. Maybe you “caught” your partner with someone at a specific location. Perhaps you meet someone with the same first name as your partner’s fling, which can trigger you.

Infidelity triggers are everywhere. But healing is possible. Let’s look at these triggers and how you can overcome them to either fight for your relationship or move on to the next chapter of your life. 

What Are Infidelity Triggers? 

Infidelity triggers are anything that comes up in day-to-day life that reminds you of your partner’s unfaithfulness. 

Again, it could be a name. It could be a location. Certain holidays or events might trigger you, knowing they might never be the same. You might not recognize these triggers until they happen, making you feel overwhelmed and hurt, as though the affair just happened all over again. 

It’s important to recognize that infidelity triggers are normal. When you acknowledge that they’re going to happen after an affair, you’ll have an easier time navigating them. Don’t let your partner or anyone else accuse you of being dramatic if you experience triggers. 

Identify Your Triggers

It can be difficult to talk about your triggers, but it’s an important step. It’s even better if you can identify them with your partner. For example, if your bedroom is a trigger, talk to your partner about it. Maybe you can switch rooms or completely renovate or redecorate the room until it looks different. 

Identifying your triggers will make them easier to avoid. Working with your partner on them will improve your connection and help you start rebuilding trust. 

Be Open and Honest

Full transparency is essential after experiencing infidelity in a relationship. You have to be transparent about your triggers, and your partner has to be transparent about everything that happened during the affair. 

If both of you commit to being honest about your feelings, it can start a new healing phase and a new chapter in your relationship. Will it be easy to talk about your triggers? No. Will it be easy to hear your partner open up about their affair? Absolutely not. But it’s a necessary part of the process. The more you get out in the open now, the less likely you’ll both be to wonder “what if” in the future. 

Take Care of Yourself

One of the best ways to move past infidelity triggers is to practice self-care. You were betrayed, and it’s going to take time to heal. While the feelings surrounding your partner’s affair might feel all-consuming, don’t let them take over your life completely. 

Fight back by taking care of yourself. Find small ways to focus on your well-being each day. That includes prioritizing sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising regularly. Spend time outside to de-stress, get together with friends, and consider finding ways to boost your mental health. Things like journaling, meditation, and mindfulness can make staying focused on the present easier than dwelling on what happened or letting triggers ruin your day. 

Finally, consider talking to a therapist on your own or as a couple. Infidelity triggers can feel crippling. While you and your partner need to work through them together, having a mental health professional involved can offer you a helping hand as you go through that journey and start to heal. Reach out to learn more about affair recovery and how we can help.