4 Ways To Get Past Triggers Caused By Infidelity
When you experience infidelity in a relationship, it can change your entire perspective. You might be hesitant to be with someone else. Maybe you’ve grown somewhat “bitter” about the idea of a real, healthy relationship.
It is possible to move on and experience healthy, happy relationships in the future. But, that might seem easier said than done when there are triggers all over reminding you of what happened.
Let’s cover a few ways you can get past those triggers, including small things a partner might say or do, as well as your own racing, anxious thoughts trying to get in the way.
1. Stay in the Present
Mindfulness often feels like a buzzword nowadays. But, it’s talked about so much because it’s extremely effective.
Mindfulness is the practice of focusing on the present. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing, how your body feels, and whatever you can sense around you. It can be used as part of your daily routine or as needed when you’re feeling triggered by something.
Pulling yourself back to the present is a great way to overcome triggers without letting your mind wander too far into the past.
2. Keep a Journal
Mindfulness and journaling can often go hand-in-hand. Keeping a small journal with you at all times is another great way to remain in the present. Beyond that, it gives you the opportunity to express your thoughts and feelings right away.
Keeping your emotions inside and letting your thoughts run wild will undoubtedly fuel your anxiety and make your triggers even worse. Writing down what you’re feeling, even if it’s just a few sentences, can help to empower you and pull you back into the reality of what’s really happening – not just a triggering moment.
3. Practice Self-Care
Infidelity can stir up a wide range of emotions. It can also crush your self-esteem and your sense of value. Self-care is always important, but it’s especially essential when you’re dealing with past triggers caused by infidelity.
You don’t need to take an expensive trip or go to the spa every week. Instead, find small ways to introduce self-care into your everyday routine. Meditate. Do yoga. Exercise. Socialize with friends. You can overcome triggers more easily if you’re kind to yourself.
If you’re having a hard time making self-care a part of your routine because you’re feeling ashamed, guilty, or even worthless, think about how you might feel if your closest friend was a victim of infidelity.
How would you treat them? How would you want them to feel? Don’t treat yourself with any less compassion or kindness than that.
4. Reach Out for Help
It’s important to understand that triggers will occur. When you go through something as traumatic as infidelity, it’s impossible to avoid certain things that might take you back to the moment you found out.
But, you don’t need to go through the journey alone.
If you really want to overcome your triggers, lean on your support system. Your family and friends love you and want to help you move past what happened. That doesn’t mean you need to listen to every piece of advice they have to offer. Take opinions with a grain of salt. Instead of asking for them, just as for support, patience, and understanding.
If you’re really struggling to move on, consider talking to a mental health professional. A therapist can help you make sense of your emotions and your struggles while working with you to overcome intrusive and negative thoughts.
Feel free to reach out for affair recovery or marriage therapy if you’ve experienced infidelity and you’re struggling with triggers. You can move past them, find freedom from those memories, and even feel comfortable enough to have healthy relationships in the future.