4 Ways To Prevent Past Relationship Mistakes From Haunting You In The Future

It can be scary and often overwhelming to step back into the dating world. That’s especially true if you’ve experienced a few failed relationships in the past, and you’re nervous about making the same mistakes again. 

But, one of the best things you can do when you’re ready to find love again is to use those mistakes to grow and learn. Don’t consider them “failures” or try to forget them. Rather, use them as educational tools that can help to make your next relationship a success. 

If it sounds easier said than done, it doesn’t have to be. Let’s cover a few things you can do to prevent past relationship mistakes from haunting you in the future.

1. Be Self-Compassionate

First of all, don’t let past relationship mistakes plague you so much that you don’t put yourself out there. Don’t let them control your thoughts or set you up for failure before you begin. 

Consider what you would do for a close friend if they were talking poorly about themselves or they were hesitant to get into a new relationship because of their mistakes. You would boost them up. You would treat them with compassion. Show yourself the same support and kindness. You might be your harshest critic, but it’s important to fight back against negative self-talk that could be holding you back.

2. Take Responsibility and Move Forward

It’s easy to play the blame game when it comes to past relationship mistakes. But, more often than not, there are things both people could have and should have done differently to salvage their partnership. 

Own the mistakes you made, rather than trying to pin everything on your previous partners. When you recognize your mistakes and take responsibility for them, you’re less likely to make them in the future. Owning up to those missteps can essentially set you free from them. 

3. Practice Mindfulness

Anxiety tends to stem from the unknown, or the “what ifs” in the confines of our minds. If you’re trying to get into a new relationship, those “what ifs” might be screaming louder than ever, reminding you of past relationship mistakes. 

If you want to quiet them, try practicing mindfulness. It will keep you focused on the present and shift your mind away from regrets of the past or worries of the future. 

Try a few deep breathing exercises or mindful meditation to improve your focus on the present. It can take some time to get comfortable with mindfulness practices, but it can benefit your daily routine. 

4. Commit to Letting Go

One of the most important things you can do to prevent past relationship mistakes from haunting you in the future is to let go of them — fully and completely. That doesn’t mean you’ll magically forget about them. But, you have to commit to letting go every single day, especially when those thoughts want to creep in. 

Thankfully, you don’t have to do it on your own. 

Lean on your support system. You don’t have to take everyone’s advice, but let the people who really love you be there for you when you’re struggling. It can make a big difference in your self-esteem and confidence. 

If past mistakes are plaguing you and keeping you from having a healthy relationship, consider reaching out for help. Therapy is a great way to get to the root of your concerns. When you get down to that core, you can start taking active steps forward with the help of a therapist. They’ll provide support and effective solutions that can improve how you feel about yourself and about future relationships. 

Don’t let past relationship mistakes hold you back forever. If you’re tired of trying to overcome them on your own, contact us to set up an appointment for couples coaching.