Infidelity, Why It's Common and Most Importantly, How To Move Forward
There’s nothing that can break trust in a relationship faster than infidelity. It feels like a total betrayal, and whether it happens once or there’s a long-lasting affair, finding out your partner is cheating can be a crushing blow.
Unfortunately, infidelity is more common than most people realize.
While there’s no excuse for infidelity, there tend to be a few common “reasons” people cite when they talk about why it happens in relationships. Some of the common causes include anger, self-esteem issues, neglect, the need for variety, and sexual desires.
But, why is infidelity so common? If it’s happened in your relationship, what can you do to move forward after that kind of trust has been broken?
Why Does Infidelity Occur?
If you’ve been cheated on, the most important thing to keep in mind is that it isn’t your fault. That doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Maybe your partner accuses you of being the reason they strayed. Maybe they’re unhappy with you or the relationship. But, it’s still no reason to cheat when there are other avenues to take.
The reasons for infidelity arise within the person cheating. They aren’t your responsibility, no matter how much your partner might try to place blame.
You can, of course, try to dig deeper into the personal reasons why your partner cheated. Maybe they’re unhappy in your relationship. Maybe they struggle with low self-esteem. Or, maybe they were just “curious” and their sexual desires got the best of them.
It’s never easy to hear why someone is unfaithful. But, getting to that root cause might help you determine whether your relationship is salvageable.
Is Infidelity On the Rise?
It’s difficult to say if more people are cheating today than in decades past. But, things like loneliness and mental health issues can play a role in infidelity, and it’s clear that those issues are on the rise.
People are struggling with stress and isolation. The COVID-19 pandemic didn’t help matters, and some people are still having a hard time recovering from the mental health effects of things like social distancing and not seeing friends and family.
Things like work stress are also on the rise. Technology, designed to make our lives easier, can also contribute to anxiety and can unfortunately make it easier to cheat. Someone who is lonely or unhappy can very easily connect with someone online. The affair might be strictly emotional, just because they’re craving the attention and connection. But, it’s still cheating, and it’s easier than ever to do without getting caught.
How Can You Move Forward?
If infidelity has occurred in your relationship, take a deep breath. It’s understandable to feel like the wind has been taken out of your sails. You might think you can never trust your partner again. You might also start to self-blame or wonder what’s wrong with you that caused your partner to stray.
The thoughts that will try to swirl through your head after finding out about unfaithfulness will lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. Don’t let them take over.
It’s up to you to determine whether you want to give the relationship a chance. That’s often circumstantial, and something you and your partner will have to talk through.
Whether you decide to stay in the relationship or not, it’s important to have a support system, prioritize self-care, and talk to a mental health professional. You don’t have to go through the aftermath of infidelity alone. While couples therapy might be beneficial, don’t neglect your own mental health in the process.
If you’re struggling with how to move forward in your relationship after finding out your partner was cheating, feel free to contact us to set up an appointment soon for couples coaching.