5 Communication Tips For Couples

Communication is one of the most important components of a healthy relationship. While all of us have different communication styles, it’s about working through those styles and understanding how to best communicate with your partner that will make your relationship stronger. 

Unfortunately, communication falls to the back burner far too often. People sweep things under the rug, don’t open up about their feelings, or they’re afraid to be vulnerable. 

Not only can that lead to more arguments, but it can cause underlying tension in your relationship that could end up making things rocky. 

So, what can you do to foster better communication in your relationship? Let’s look at a few helpful tips for couples.

1. Use “I” Statements

Far too often, couples get into the habit of playing the blame game. Sometimes, it can lead to an argument. If not, it can make your partner feel guilty or defensive. 

Instead, choose to express your feelings by using “I” statements. Even if your partner is doing something you don’t appreciate, don’t be accusatory when you talk to them about it. Instead, say something like, “I feel like you’re not paying attention to me when you’re on the phone while I’m telling you about my day”.

2. Choose the Right Time

There’s no question that we live in a busy, fast-paced world. You might often think that you only have time for a few quick words with your partner in the morning or evening. But, if you need to have a real, serious conversation, you need to find the right time for it – even if that means making time. 

It’s not fair to either one of you to bring up important subjects when you’re rushing or pressed for time. You won’t be able to work through things or discuss them properly, and that could impact both your feelings and the relationship. 

Set aside time to talk, especially when it comes to important matters. Scheduling a dedicated time to discuss things shows that you’re prioritizing your relationship and each other.

3. Be an Active Listener

Communication is a two-way street. We all want to be heard, and learning how to effectively speak to your partner is half the battle. The other half is learning how to listen. 

Listening and hearing are different things. It’s not enough to hear what your partner has to say. Rather, be an active listener. Use nonverbal cues like nodding and eye contact to let them know you’re paying attention. Ask questions. Recite things back to them to confirm you’re understanding what they have to say. 

When you show that you’re actively listening, your partner is likely to do the same. It can help you understand each other’s wants and needs much more clearly. 

4. Show Respect

Actively listening to your partner is certainly a form of respect. But, it’s important to respect all aspects of your relationship, and a lot of that comes through in the way you choose to communicate. 

Respectful communication is honest, open, and not purposefully hurtful or cutting. You’re not always going to “like” everything your partner does. But, respect is necessary even when you’re arguing. 

By keeping an undertone of respect in every conversation, you’re more likely to understand each other and not become defensive. 

5. Communicate Often

You don’t have to wait until both you and your partner are home for the night to communicate. While you might have busy schedules and often feel like you never see each other, you can still stay connected throughout the day. 

Technology has made it easier than ever to send texts, voice memos, and more. You can even call or video chat when you have a few extra minutes to spare. 

These short interactions can’t replace the longer conversations you should be having on a regular basis. But, they can help you feel close to your partner every day, and make those important conversations seem less overwhelming. 

Keep these communication tips in mind if you feel like you’ve been struggling to connect with your partner. You might be surprised by how much they help you understand each other and how much closer they can make you feel. 

Reach out to learn more about marriage therapy and how it can help improve your relationship.