Marriage And Surviving Porn Addiction As Christians
Marriages go through plenty of ups and downs. Even when you and your spouse have devoted your lives and your relationship to Christ, it doesn’t mean you won’t face hard times.
Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world. We all sin, and we all have struggles. However, some of those struggles and sins can hit a marriage harder than others – including an addiction to pornography.
Porn is a huge problem across the globe, and studies have shown that it negatively impacts relationships in a variety of ways.
Let’s take a look at how a porn addiction can impact your marriage, and how you can handle it from a Christ-like perspective.
Bringing Everything Into the Light
One of the biggest indicators that your marriage can (and will) survive a porn addiction is when the person struggling comes forward. When they admit there is a problem and it’s not just a habit, but an addiction, it’s a first step toward healing.
That doesn’t mean it won’t shock you or hurt to hear. You might immediately feel betrayed, or like you’ve been cheated on. It’s okay to take the time to process your feelings. But, when you’re trying to make your marriage work, it’s important to move forward and acknowledge the fact that the addict is taking responsibility for their actions.
The Addict’s Attitude
It takes two people to make a marriage successful. However, when a pornography addiction is involved, the addict immediately has to take on certain attitudes and behaviors. First, they have to feel empathy.
If you’ve been dealing with porn addiction and you can’t feel empathy for how that might affect your spouse, it’s time to rethink your priorities in your relationship. Additionally, you should be seeking repentance. Don’t downplay the addiction by suggesting it’s “not that bad” or assuming that everyone does it.
As a Christian, you are called to be set apart from the world. Stumbling over things like addictions can happen. It’s what you do afterward that makes a difference.
Finally, you should develop an attitude of healing. You should be willing to do whatever it takes to get better and move past your addiction. Does that mean it’ll be easy? Absolutely not. But, with these attitudes, your partner is more likely to be by your side, helping you work through things every step of the way.
Surround Yourself With Support
When you got married, you probably made a commitment to center your relationship around Christ. But, you’re both flawed human beings just like everyone else. We all slip. We all stumble, and we all do things we don’t want to do, knowing they’re against God’s nature.
However, now could be a perfect time to re-center your relationship. Talk to your pastor about marriage counseling and how it might positively impact your relationship. It’s not easy to come forward with your specific struggles. But, doing so will make it easier to dig into the root of the issue and heal faster.
Additionally, seek out support from other Christian couples, family members, and church friends. Again, we’ve all strayed off the path before. You might be surprised to learn that some of your closest friends and strongest Christ followers have struggled with similar issues. When you surround yourself with like-minded Christians, your focus can start to turn away from your addiction and back to a strong relationship that glorifies God.
No matter your role in a marriage with porn addiction, it will take time and dedication to heal and move forward. If you’re struggling to forgive yourself or your spouse, or you’re still dealing with the lingering impact of addiction, feel free to reach out for marriage therapy