How To Rebuild Trust In A Christian Marriage

When you build your marriage on Christian values and you do everything you can to keep Christ at the center, it can be especially devastating when trust is broken. 

Maybe you found out your spouse was unfaithful. Maybe they were keeping an important secret from you. Or, maybe they’re just not opening up the way they should, and you’re losing trust in them every day. 

Trust is an essential element of any successful marriage. When it’s broken, it can be extremely difficult to rebuild it. But, it’s not impossible, especially if you’re both willing to re-center your relationship and put the focus back where it belongs. 

If you’re struggling with rebuilding trust in your marriage, try some of the following ideas that can help you restore it from the ground up. 

Practice Forgiveness

As a Christ follower, you already know the importance of forgiveness. Does that mean it’s always easy to do? Absolutely not. 

But, if trust is broken in your relationship, forgiving your partner is the first step toward truly healing. Chances are, you’re suffering because of that broken trust, too. Forgiving your spouse means allowing yourself to move on and heal, as well. 

It will take time. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you automatically forget, and it doesn’t mean you allow your spouse to keep doing the same things that broke your trust, in the first place. But, it shows them that you’re willing to work on rebuilding that trust and you’re not going to hold their mistakes against them as you move forward. 

Own Up to Your Actions

If you’re the person in the relationship who broke your spouse’s trust, it’s time to come out of the shadows. Maybe you’ve already admitted to what happened. Maybe you were “caught” and had to admit it. 

Whatever the case, that’s only the first step. Avoid coming up with excuses or defenses. Maybe you thought you had a legitimate excuse at the time, but now isn’t the proper moment to discuss those things. Instead, own up to your actions and take responsibility for breaking that trust in your marriage. Additionally, accept the emotional impact it will have on your spouse, and don’t tell them they’re “overreacting” or that it’s not as big of a deal as it seems. They are entitled to their feelings. 

Demonstrate Repentance

Again, if you were the one at fault, apologize and repent. Apologize to your spouse, and repent with God. Apologies aren’t just declarations. They are actions. Repentance means you never plan on taking that action again. 

Will you fail? Maybe. You’re human, and so is your spouse. You’ll both make mistakes as you move forward in your marriage because of the sin nature people are born with. But, true repentance isn’t about the “what ifs.” Rather, it’s about the attitude of your heart. 

Refocus Your Relationship

One of the biggest mistakes couples make when trust is broken in a marriage is thinking they have to patch things up on their own. That can be difficult to do when emotions feel so heavy that it’s hard to think clearly. 

If you want to refocus and re-center your relationship, consider reaching out for help. Talk to your minister, elders in your church, or other Christian couples you look up to. We’re called to be open, and though vulnerability isn’t easy, you might be surprised to find that some of the people closest to you have experienced similar issues in their marriage. 

Additionally, consider reaching out to learn about marriage therapy. We can help you and your spouse get to the root of the issue(s), and guide you with effective skills and strategies to strengthen your marriage as you move forward together, united as one flesh.